I had the distinct privilege of attending a life altering event this weekend. Check it out!
God Bless the USA, and Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Change Anything: The Conclusion
Here's the final piece to making permanent positive changes in your life: Control Your Space.
Think about this. Kids with larger plates eat more pasta. Over the last couple of generations, the plates sold in stores have inched larger and larger without anyone noticing. People eat 92% of what is on their plate - regardless of how big it is! If getting healthy is your goal, you can decrease your calorie intake by doing something as simple as using smaller plates!
It seems most Americans are not thinking about how their home’s design affects their family’s behavior. If you ever hope to take control of your life, you’ll have to first take control of your space. If your family life is on the rocks because you don't have enough "quality time" together, consider the placement of your TV in your living room. Is it right in the center where it's easy to flip on an leave on for hours? Consider moving it into another room that's not as easily accessible. Better yet, turn off your TV service for a few months. You will live...I promise.
Another great technique is to Build Fences. Consider these real life examples:
“On the way home from work, I decided I would never drive by Toni’s, my favorite bar. Chances were good I’d see a friend’s car in the parking lot, and I’d be tempted to stop. So I stopped driving by Toni’s.”
“I no longer keep alcohol in my home. If if I do happen to have some, I keep it in the fridge in the garage. I don’t need it calling out to me.”
“I made all visits to the mall off limits unless I had a specific list of items to buy."
These decisions have to be made BY YOU, not by friends, co-workers, loved ones, or family.
Keep good things close and convenient, and bad things distant and difficult. Moving a temptation just a few feet away can have a huge impact on one’s behavior.
If you want to exercise more, keep workout equipment conveniently close in your bedroom or living room, not in the basement or distant gym.
And lastly: Use Cues!
Placing pictures, sticky notes, sayings, etc. in inconspicuous places (bathroom mirror, refrigerator, car dash) can jog your memory throughout the day. Cut out a picture of a person with your dream physique and place it on the fridge. The next time you're tempted to reach for the ice cream, you will see your cue hanging there, which can help you resist the temptation.
Cues become scenery after a while, so you’ll have to change them up on a regular basis.
I hope this helps you to make some great changes in you and your family's life!
Think about this. Kids with larger plates eat more pasta. Over the last couple of generations, the plates sold in stores have inched larger and larger without anyone noticing. People eat 92% of what is on their plate - regardless of how big it is! If getting healthy is your goal, you can decrease your calorie intake by doing something as simple as using smaller plates!
It seems most Americans are not thinking about how their home’s design affects their family’s behavior. If you ever hope to take control of your life, you’ll have to first take control of your space. If your family life is on the rocks because you don't have enough "quality time" together, consider the placement of your TV in your living room. Is it right in the center where it's easy to flip on an leave on for hours? Consider moving it into another room that's not as easily accessible. Better yet, turn off your TV service for a few months. You will live...I promise.
Another great technique is to Build Fences. Consider these real life examples:
“On the way home from work, I decided I would never drive by Toni’s, my favorite bar. Chances were good I’d see a friend’s car in the parking lot, and I’d be tempted to stop. So I stopped driving by Toni’s.”
“I no longer keep alcohol in my home. If if I do happen to have some, I keep it in the fridge in the garage. I don’t need it calling out to me.”
“I made all visits to the mall off limits unless I had a specific list of items to buy."
These decisions have to be made BY YOU, not by friends, co-workers, loved ones, or family.
Keep good things close and convenient, and bad things distant and difficult. Moving a temptation just a few feet away can have a huge impact on one’s behavior.
If you want to exercise more, keep workout equipment conveniently close in your bedroom or living room, not in the basement or distant gym.
And lastly: Use Cues!
Placing pictures, sticky notes, sayings, etc. in inconspicuous places (bathroom mirror, refrigerator, car dash) can jog your memory throughout the day. Cut out a picture of a person with your dream physique and place it on the fridge. The next time you're tempted to reach for the ice cream, you will see your cue hanging there, which can help you resist the temptation.
Cues become scenery after a while, so you’ll have to change them up on a regular basis.
I hope this helps you to make some great changes in you and your family's life!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Change Anything: Part Three
The next strategy in our series about making positive changes: Invert the Economy. Use rewards and punishments for doing the right things and wrong things.
World famous succes coach Anthony Robins said that humans are motivated by two things: 1. To gain pleasure, and 2. to avoid pain. Guess which is a stronger motivator. Avoiding pain is much stronger.
If we can identify what our bad habits are, we can set up a "punishment" system for engaging in those bad habits. For example, watch what happen to tobacco usage as excise taxes increase.
We can set up bribes for doing well. Set up a reward system for when you do a "good" action or habit. You get to go out for ice cream...but only after you've exercised five days in a row. Something like that. And if you don't exercise five days in a row, no TV for you this weekend! Use carrots AND the threat of losing carrots.
Regarding finances, set up a financial punishment for every time you break your own rules to change. We are far more motivated to avoid loss than we are to receive and equivalent gain. If you put something you value at risk, you might be more likely to change than if you merely rely on bonuses, prizes, and other incentives.
A word to the wise, though: use incentives in moderation. Don’t fall for big incentives thinking that they’re more likely to yield big results. Large, long-term goals become far more effective when they’re broken into smaller, short-term ones.
Reward your ACTIONS, not your results, since results are often out of your control.
You get the idea.
World famous succes coach Anthony Robins said that humans are motivated by two things: 1. To gain pleasure, and 2. to avoid pain. Guess which is a stronger motivator. Avoiding pain is much stronger.
If we can identify what our bad habits are, we can set up a "punishment" system for engaging in those bad habits. For example, watch what happen to tobacco usage as excise taxes increase.
We can set up bribes for doing well. Set up a reward system for when you do a "good" action or habit. You get to go out for ice cream...but only after you've exercised five days in a row. Something like that. And if you don't exercise five days in a row, no TV for you this weekend! Use carrots AND the threat of losing carrots.
Regarding finances, set up a financial punishment for every time you break your own rules to change. We are far more motivated to avoid loss than we are to receive and equivalent gain. If you put something you value at risk, you might be more likely to change than if you merely rely on bonuses, prizes, and other incentives.
A word to the wise, though: use incentives in moderation. Don’t fall for big incentives thinking that they’re more likely to yield big results. Large, long-term goals become far more effective when they’re broken into smaller, short-term ones.
Reward your ACTIONS, not your results, since results are often out of your control.
You get the idea.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Change Anything: Part Two
Welcome back folks! This week's strategy for making permanent, positive changes in our lives is: Turn Accomplices Into Friends.
When it comes to habits (good or bad), you have two kinds of people around you: Friends and Accomplices. Friends help keep you on the road to health, happiness, and success. Accomplices do the opposite. For example, having obese friends increases your chance of following suit by a whopping 57%. Regarding finances, consider this: your income is the average of the incomes of the five people you hang out with the most.
Step one is identify who the "accomplices" are. Step two is can be more difficult: we have to either change the people around us, or change the people around us. Have a transformation conversation with the accomplices you want to turn into friends. Let them know from your heart what you are working on accomplishing. If they support you, they are a "friend." If they hold you back, they are an "accomplice." Every time you transform an accomplice into a friend, you win twice. You not only remove the negative influence, but you add a positive at the same time.
This doesn't mean that you have to tell anyone to get lost, but you will need to put a plan in place to limit (or eliminate) the influence they have over you. If certain meetings, lunches, social circles, and other rituals you attend encourage or enable the habits you’re trying to stop, you’ll need to recognize these influences. If you’re finding it particularly tough to change, it’s very possible that you have people around you who actively hold you accountable to a bad habit. Only by distancing yourself from certain people will be able to break free of their negative influence.
As you lay out your own change plan, find coaches, people who will hold you accountable to the changes you are striving to make. In an ideal world, you’ll want all friend and no accomplices. You can add numerous new friends at once by joining associations and clubs of people who are looking to achieve the same things you are.
People with six or more active "friends" who support them in their quest to change are almost 40% more likely to succeed in their change than those with less than six.
Now go make some change!!!
When it comes to habits (good or bad), you have two kinds of people around you: Friends and Accomplices. Friends help keep you on the road to health, happiness, and success. Accomplices do the opposite. For example, having obese friends increases your chance of following suit by a whopping 57%. Regarding finances, consider this: your income is the average of the incomes of the five people you hang out with the most.
Step one is identify who the "accomplices" are. Step two is can be more difficult: we have to either change the people around us, or change the people around us. Have a transformation conversation with the accomplices you want to turn into friends. Let them know from your heart what you are working on accomplishing. If they support you, they are a "friend." If they hold you back, they are an "accomplice." Every time you transform an accomplice into a friend, you win twice. You not only remove the negative influence, but you add a positive at the same time.
This doesn't mean that you have to tell anyone to get lost, but you will need to put a plan in place to limit (or eliminate) the influence they have over you. If certain meetings, lunches, social circles, and other rituals you attend encourage or enable the habits you’re trying to stop, you’ll need to recognize these influences. If you’re finding it particularly tough to change, it’s very possible that you have people around you who actively hold you accountable to a bad habit. Only by distancing yourself from certain people will be able to break free of their negative influence.
As you lay out your own change plan, find coaches, people who will hold you accountable to the changes you are striving to make. In an ideal world, you’ll want all friend and no accomplices. You can add numerous new friends at once by joining associations and clubs of people who are looking to achieve the same things you are.
People with six or more active "friends" who support them in their quest to change are almost 40% more likely to succeed in their change than those with less than six.
Now go make some change!!!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Change Anything: Part One
As promised last week, I'll be spending the next few weeks teaching you in several installments how you can change ANYTHING in your life.
Once we understand the forces that are acting on us, we no longer have to fall victim to them. Those who remain blind and outnumbered have almost no chance of success. Whether it be improving your health, stabilizing your finances, building a better marriage, or whatever challenges you can imagine...you can use these techniques to create positive, long-term changes in any area of your life you wish.
So here we go.
Strategy #1: Love What You Hate
Stop obsessing over the unpleasant aspects of what you’re working to accomplish, and focus your attention on the values you’re supporting. For instance, when sticking to a lower calorie diet, don’t undermine your own motivation by describing your choices as “starving” or “going without.” Instead, you’re “sticking to your promise” or “becoming healthier.” This difference in description may sound small, but words matter. They focus the brain on either positive or negative aspects of what you’re doing.
Next, increase personal motivation by turning chores into a game.
Example: Take a picture of your goal (a person with your ideal physique, for instance) and cut into small pieces. Each day you finish your assigned task (20 minute workout, for instance), add one block of your mosaic back to the picture. By breaking the goal into small wins, you can set a time frame and develop a meaningful way of keeping score that turns something noxious into something that can be fun.
Set a deadline for the completion of your goal. If you don't hit...who cares!? In fact, many times you won't hit the goal by your deadline, but at least you've got something concrete that you're working toward. And when you hit a bite-sized goal, it feels great and propels onward to the next one!
I'll be back soon with strategy #2.
Get ready to Change Anything!
Dr. Cox
Once we understand the forces that are acting on us, we no longer have to fall victim to them. Those who remain blind and outnumbered have almost no chance of success. Whether it be improving your health, stabilizing your finances, building a better marriage, or whatever challenges you can imagine...you can use these techniques to create positive, long-term changes in any area of your life you wish.
So here we go.
Strategy #1: Love What You Hate
Stop obsessing over the unpleasant aspects of what you’re working to accomplish, and focus your attention on the values you’re supporting. For instance, when sticking to a lower calorie diet, don’t undermine your own motivation by describing your choices as “starving” or “going without.” Instead, you’re “sticking to your promise” or “becoming healthier.” This difference in description may sound small, but words matter. They focus the brain on either positive or negative aspects of what you’re doing.
Next, increase personal motivation by turning chores into a game.
Example: Take a picture of your goal (a person with your ideal physique, for instance) and cut into small pieces. Each day you finish your assigned task (20 minute workout, for instance), add one block of your mosaic back to the picture. By breaking the goal into small wins, you can set a time frame and develop a meaningful way of keeping score that turns something noxious into something that can be fun.
Set a deadline for the completion of your goal. If you don't hit...who cares!? In fact, many times you won't hit the goal by your deadline, but at least you've got something concrete that you're working toward. And when you hit a bite-sized goal, it feels great and propels onward to the next one!
I'll be back soon with strategy #2.
Get ready to Change Anything!
Dr. Cox
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